Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We were destined to go to rehab together
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
