There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
