ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
