HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
