What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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