8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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