Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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