tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
