do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
