i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
