i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize