i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
