The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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