eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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