I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize