YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
