i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I looked at my own cervix.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
