this is something i pride myself on being below average for
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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