Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
