its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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