Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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