You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
