Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
is wine microwaveable?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry about my life...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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