I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
