well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
