you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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