i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize