Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
