So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
