the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
