so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
