So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
