I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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