based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
