My first STD was from a foam party
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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