i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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