This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
