So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
