TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
