Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize