he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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