he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
