You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
