No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
