the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
