so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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