I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
