Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
