I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
