Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I wish I only lived at night.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize