Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
