My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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