I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you didnt know i had herpes?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
