We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Drunk walkin through police station. America
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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