I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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