My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Everyone says I win the strip club
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize