I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
