Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
