I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
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