your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
