it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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