Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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