i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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