Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
