talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
