I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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