Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
