8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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