New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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