Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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