garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
