all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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