I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize