Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
