I will die if light touches me.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
