Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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